What is King Charles like in private? As he turns 76 today we look back at his ‘completely different’ family persona which involves lots of ‘hugs and kisses’ (despite Harry’s claim in Spare there was ‘nearly a zero-tolerance policy’ on physical contact)

When most people meet King Charles they might get a firm handshake and exchange a few pleasantries.

But as you would expect, he acts in a far more relaxed manner around those close to him – especially his two sons William and Harry in their younger days.

In their company he could be seen fooling around, laughing and joking, playing rough and tumble, and even hugging and kissing, according to one royal biographer.

However in recent years, the King’s private character has come under fire from the disillusioned Prince Harry, who claimed in his tell-all book Spare that the ‘older generation’ of royals had a ‘nearly zero-tolerance prohibition on all physical contact’.

Despite the mound of photo evidence proving the contrary, he wrote: ‘No hugs, no kisses, no pats. Now and then, maybe a light touching of cheeks – on special occasions.’ 

Here, on the day King Charles turns 76, MailOnline goes inside his private life and reveals his family persona.

Prince Charles laughs with his sons as he lifts Prince Harry on to Prince William’s shoulder in Kensington Palace for this sweet family photo in 1985

Prince Charles and his sons Prince Harry and Prince William at his favourite ski resort in Klosters, Switzerland, on March 28, 2002

Prince Harry is pictured greeting his father during the 10th Anniversary Memorial Service For Diana, Princess of Wales in 2007

Despite the mound of photo evidence proving the contrary, Prince Harry (pictured in Klosters)  later claimed in his autobiography that there was ‘nearly a zero-tolerance policy’ on physical contact with senior royals

Throughout Charles’ life, there have always been cameras focused on him, so he makes sure to grab the rare moments of privacy he does have with both hands.

Behind the high walls of his palaces and country estates, Charles’ private persona is ‘completely different from his public one’, writes Penny Junor in the 1998 book Charles: Victim or Villain?

The royal author writes: ‘He fools around with the boys, they tease each other laugh, joke, rough and tumble, and even hug and kiss. 

‘On the last farewell dinner party in their hotel restaurant, in the middle of the dinner Harry got to his feet and, in front of a table full of people, made a little speech to thank “Papa” as both boys call him (rhymes with super), for giving him such a wonderful holiday. 

‘He then walked smartly up to his father and smothered his face in kisses, until, in mock embarrassment, the prince begged for mercy. It was a touching scene…’

However the scene painted in the biography is far different from the one Harry outlines in his 2023 memoir Spare. 

There he wrote: ‘The older generation maintained a nearly zero-tolerance prohibition on all physical contact.

‘No hugs, no kisses, no pats. Now and then, maybe a light touching of cheeks – on special occasions.

Prince William shares a joke with his father and  his brother during a photocall on the ski slopes in Klosters

Prince Charles playing football with Prince William when he was young

Prince Charles, Prince William and Prince Harry at Klosters on April 6, 2000

Prince Harry with his arm around his father, Prince Charles, on a Christmas card in 1994

Prince Charles with the Princess of Wales and sons Harry and William at Balmoral August 1988

Charles, William, and Harry play on the bank of the River Dee, near Balmoral Estate, Scotland, on April 10, 1987

A photo showing the touching moment Prince Charles hugged Prince Louis was shared on the young prince’s second birthday

‘No matter how much you might love someone, you could never cross that chasm between, say, monarch and child. Or Heir and Spare.’

Harry also details feeling like he was born to be the ‘spare kidney’ for his elder brother. 

But Junor’s biography of Charles seems to contradict the claims later made by the prince.

She wrote: ‘When William and Harry were small, one of the biggest problems Charles’ valets had was keeping his suits clean. 

‘Whenever Charles arrived home at Highgrove by helicopter, it would land in the front field, where sheep graze. As soon as William and Harry heard it overhead, they could come running out to meet him. 

‘Once it had landed safely, they would race across the field and jump up into his arms for a hug, smearing one suit after another with the sheep droppings they had trodden in on the way.’

The book also claimed Charles built his sons a ‘massive’ tree house in a holly tree, which became affectionately known as Holyroodhouse after Holyroodhouse Palace, the Queen’s official residence in Edinburgh.

And like their father, both boys were funny mimics, doing better impressions of him than anyone else.

Although most of the King’s physical affection is thought to have happened away from the camera, there were also many instances that were captured on camera. 

Prince Harry’s claim that Charles gave no affection to him growing up was put into further doubt in December 2023, when the King was seen kissing his grandsons while filming a documentary for the coronation.

Prince George, Louis and Princess Charlotte gave great big hugs to their grandfather while rehearsing the coronation

Prince William kisses his father King Charles on the cheek during the monarch’s coronation ceremony in 2023

Prince William looks on as the his father and brother share a joke during the presentation ceremony of the Gurkha Welfare Challenge Trophy at Cirencester Park Polo Club

Prince Harry and Prince William greet their father, Prince Charles, Prince of Wales, at the Service to celebrate the life of Diana, Princess of Wales at the Guards Chapel on August 31, 2007

Royal fans noticed that during a rehearsal for the Westminster Abbey ceremony in May of that year, Charles is seen bending over to hug and kiss Prince George and Prince Louis.

The King also embraced Princess Charlotte, who curtseyed in homage to him.

However the King’s private enthusiasm for physical contact also sometimes spills over into his public facing role.

A Palace source told The Telegraph in September that the King ‘is a genuinely warm and affectionate man who is not embarrassed to express that in a public way. He’s a human and relatable person’.

They noted that if the late Queen was not hugged, it was out of ‘generational respect’, meaning it ‘would have felt wrong to even attempt it’.

Robert Jobson, author of Charles’ biography Our King, said the monarch has ‘always been a pretty good hugger, pretty relaxed about it’.

The royal expert added: ‘The people around the Royal Family can be strict, but the actual royals themselves have always been fairly relaxed. He [the King] is quite tactile and always has been. He’s got a twinkle in his eye.’

Showcasing his sometimes ‘informal approach’, Charles, as Prince of Wales, was seen breakdancing in 1985 and was even kissed on the cheek by a Spice Girl in 1997.

Meanwhile, King Charles has often been dubbed ‘approachable’ – and the well-earned label is proven through his sweet and compassionate interactions with the public.

Prince Charles, Prince William, and Prince Harry play on the bank of the River Dee, near Balmoral Estate, Scotland, on April 10, 1987

Prince Charles puts his arm around his son Harry, with William watching on, at Klosters in 2005

Prince Charles and Prince William board the Queen’s Flight plane at Aberdeen Airport in Scotland on September 7, 1984 after a holiday in Balmoral

Charles and Prince Louis at the Platinum Jubilee Pageant in London on June 5, 2022

Prince Charles gives Harry a piggy back while swimming

After his mother died in September 2022, the new King put on a brave face for the country as he shook the hands of well-wishers at Buckingham Palace. In an outpouring of affection, one woman leaned over to kiss his hand (pictured)

During the King’s trip to the Channel Islands in July, one mischievous 91-year-old local, Kathleen Moriarty, planted a kiss on the monarch’s cheek, much to the delight of onlookers

Charles was even kissed on the cheek by a Spice Girl in 1997 (pictured)

After his mother died in September 2022, the new King put on a brave face for the country as he shook the hands of well-wishers at Buckingham Palace.

In an outpouring of affection, one woman leaned over to kiss his hand, while another landed one on his cheek.

It was the first sign of what has been dubbed the ‘informal formality’ of King Charles’s reign, reflecting his chilled-out approach to enthusiastic members of the public.

Meanwhile, during the King’s trip to the Channel Islands in July, one mischievous 91-year-old local, Kathleen Moriarty, planted a kiss on the monarch’s cheek, much to the delight of onlookers.

The loud smooch was picked up by nearby cameras, cutting through the noise of the crowd that was gathered in the small town of St Peter Port in Guernsey.

Again, King Charles took it in his stride, shaking Kathleen’s hand and giving her a wry smile.

Yet an act of such intimacy may have provoked a very different response during the reign of the late Queen.

Royal biographers such as Andrew Morton have said Queen Elizabeth II would ‘never’ have allowed a member of the public to kiss her, noting that she had a ‘different kind of style’ from her son.

But it seems for Prince Harry, King Charles’ family persona was still not affectionate enough.