EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: Can the Duke of Beaufort ever forget Prince Harry throwing a girl into the swimming pool of Badminton House as a teenager?

Can the Duke of Beaufort ever forget Prince Harry‘s teenage attendance at a birthday party at Badminton House, when he randomly hurled a girl into the swimming pool? 

‘He then proceeded to pick up another one, and then another girl, and then another girl, and he was rather like a truck driver heaving bags of coal onto the back of a lorry before solemnly going back to pick up another one,’ recalls the aristo.

 ‘Luckily my father’s butler was there and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and took him away.’ Harry probably thought the pool rampage was a bit of fun. Not so the drenched girls.

While attending a birthday party at Badminton House, residence of the Dukes of Beaufort, Prince Harry randomly hurled a girl into the swimming pool (Pictured: Duke of Beaufort)

Harry probably thought the pool rampage was a bit of fun. Not so the drenched girls

Father Ted co-creator Graham Linehan celebrates Eddie Izzard’s failure to be selected as Labour’s next parliamentary candidate in Brighton Pavilion.

‘Eddie’s non-biodegradable rubber boobs will outlive us all, but they’ll certainly outlive his political career,’ he says, adding: ‘Not only funny, one of the best stand-ups the UK has ever had. 

‘But he let his fetish take over his brain like one of those zombie ants controlled by a malignant fungus.’  

Has Graham lost his sense of humour after his career went up in flames when he made an enemy of the trans lobby?

Eddie Izzard failed to be selected as Labour’s next parliamentary candidate in Brighton Pavilion

With embattled lingerie tycoon Michelle Mone’s disastrous BBC interview with Laura Kuenssberg being compared to Prince Andrew’s Newsnight car crash, the latter’s former host Emily Maitlis witheringly concludes of ‘Baroness Bra’: ‘It’s a very funny line isn’t it. 

So much easier to say ‘lying to the Press’ than ‘lying to the public’ on whose behalf those questions about the shamelessly missing millions were being asked.’

Lingerie tycoon Michelle Mone’s disastrous BBC interview with Laura Kuenssberg is being compared to Prince Andrew’s Newsnight car crash

Hannah Waddingham paid tribute from the ENO stage to her wheelchair-bound mother Melodie Kelly, a former opera singer, while recording her TV show Home For Christmas. 

‘She was in the chorus at the ENO,’ she tells Radio Times. ‘Three sessions a day, travelling to the Coliseum, coming home to make my dad’s dinner then going back to sing La Traviata at night.’ 

After getting a mention, Hannah said of Melodie, who has Parkinson’s: ‘She made me laugh… She waved at me and then at the audience. A performer never switches it off!’

Hannah Waddingham paid tribute from the ENO stage to her wheelchair-bound mother Melodie Kelly, a former opera singe

Playwright David Hare recalls Princess Margaret’s attendance at his play Skylight where Michael Gambon, famously forgetful of his lines, was acclaimed as Tom Sergeant. 

‘She said rather sourly that it was a very good play, but that I was overly fond of the F-word. I didn’t like to explain to her that most of the Fs were improvised. 

‘Michael simply used that same familiar word over and over, vamping to give himself time to think what the next line might possibly be.’

Playwright David Hare recalls Princess Margaret’s attendance at his play Skylight where Michael Gambon, famously forgetful of his lines, was acclaimed as Tom Sergeant

At his festive booze-up, Irish ambassador to London Martin Fraser had a trio perform an unexpurgated version of Shane MacGowan’s Fairytale Of New York.

This would have prompted Shane to spill his celestial cocktail. The thirsty warbler was never a welcome regular at the Embassy in the Guinness family’s former home.