JANET STREET-PORTER: As the Sussexes reinvent themselves as Netflix TV stars, does anyone need Meghan the mop-wielding domestic goddess? No thank you. But give me Harry’s insight into the world of polo – and all its sex, money and glamour – any day

Does the world need another lesson in how to make a delicious dip using organic free range produce? As the Duchess of Sussex launches herself as the USA’s answer to Nigella, will viewers be rushing to whisk up her eco-friendly snacks?

As for enriching our lifestyles, would you pay extra for a Megan Mop? Or the chance to buy a blender made by happy well paid workers in a factory powered by solar energy using only the purest water- chance would be a fine thing. Would you make a slab cake with the Sussex seal of approval? I doubt it would have many carbs, but it will be very humble and worthy and guilt-free.

As brand Sussex expands, with Harry and Meghan announcing they will be producing two new television shows for Netflix, I know which one I’ll be watching. Since signing a five-year production deal worth a reputed $100 million in 2020, there’s been huge interest in how the royal couple would translate their personal experiences into entertainment for ordinary folk who don’t rear their own chickens, have a security detail and celebrity friends on speed dial like Oprah.

A spokesperson for their production company, Archewell, reveals the pair are busy developing all sorts of projects, with a movie, comedy and all sorts of entertainment in the pipeline – but the first shows into production reflect their very different passions- sport and domestic bliss.

Does the world need another lesson in how to make a delicious dip using organic free range produce, asks JANET STREET-PORTER? As the Duchess of Sussex launches herself as the USA’s answer to Nigella, will viewers be rushing to whisk up her eco-friendly snacks? 

Harry’s offering will take viewers behind the scenes at top polo matches, with viewers promised ‘unprecedented access’ to a sport which is dominated by the rich, beautiful and supremely fit. The players, that is. Obviously the glamorous spectators aren’t the kind you’d encounter on the terraces at Millwall or on the sidelines at a local five a side game.

It’s thought the series may be shot at the US Open Polo Championships and other tournaments around the world- an insider gushed ‘it pulls the curtain back on the grit and the passion of the sport’. Yes, I am sure, but basically polo is about sex, muscle power and money. The money that is required to own and run a string of four ponies for each game. Even the grooms – the underlings of both sexes who look after the animals – are pretty good looking too.

For armchair sloths like myself, the promises of six hours watching blokes (and women) with perfect six packs rippling under tight polo shirts whacking a little ball with a long pole (the mallet) is an exciting prospect. I’ve already sent off for my book of the rules, I’m going to wear a hardhat (or helmet as it’s known) during play and the Pimms is chilling. Polo was immortalised in Jilly Cooper’s classic bonkathon (entitled Polo) of 2007, featuring the antic of moody, macho, randy Ricky France-Lynch. Required background reading to prepare for Harry’s new show. Polo is like Downton Abbey without the buildings and the dowagers.

I have only ever been to one actual match- a charity event at the Guards Polo Club on Smith’s Lawn in Windsor Great Park, with Royals in attendance. The day didn’t start well- my ex-husband threw a tantrum because he wasn’t invited and chucked a box of eggs all over my Landrover. They quickly baked into a mobile omelette which kitchen rolls couldn’t remove.

Meghan’s new lifestyle show will be offering insights into ‘the joys of cooking, gardening, entertaining and friendship’. ABove: A photo previously issued by Archewell of Meghan at The Welcome Project on February 10 

 As brand Sussex expands, with Harry and Meghan announcing they will be producing two new television shows for Netflix , I know which one I’ll be watching

I wish Meghan well, but she’s entering an over-crowded market too late. As for Harry’s Big New Idea, he could be onto a winner 

The dress code required me to wear the correct badge (just like Royal Ascot), proper heels, a prissy knee length skirt, a nice jacket and loads of makeup- not something I’ve done since, but back then neither Royal Prince was married and one can always live in hope.

The match was fast and furious and completely incomprehensible.

Buckets of champagne were drunk before, after and during, so it all passed in a blur. The posh people stayed well away from the plebs, although we all had to walk over the grass and stamp bits of turf down in the breaks between chukkas.

Polo is where Harry is really happy – he’s been a keen player since his teenage years and still gets in the saddle at matches near his new home in California. These days the women’s game is equally competitive and glamourous too.

Contrast the thrill of the ‘chukka’ (one of the 7 minute periods in a polo match not a pair of boots- do keep up with the lingo!) with Meghan’s new lifestyle show, which will be offering insights into ‘the joys of cooking, gardening, entertaining and friendship’. In the trailer, we see hazy soft focus shots of the Duchess pottering away in a perfect kitchen, with copper pans hanging overhead, jazz burbling away in the background and gorgeous roses perfectly arranged in a vase. Naturally, she’s in white.

Meghan has just launched a homeware brand – the clumsily named American Riviera Orchard – so a cooking show makes perfect sense as a vehicle to flog her wares 

Harry’s offering will take viewers behind the scenes at top polo matches. Above: Harry with his brother Prince William after playing in the Audi Polo Challenge at Coworth Park Polo Club in 2014

Viewers are promised ‘unprecedented access’ to a sport which is dominated by the rich, beautiful and supremely fit. Above: Harry  with his old friend Nacho Figueras in May 2019

Meghan has just launched a homeware brand – the clumsily named American Riviera Orchard – so a cooking show makes perfect sense as a vehicle to flog her wares, but how many handcrafted sustainable wooden spoons does any amateur need, even ones personally approved by the Duchess of Sussex?

And how much undiscovered ‘advice’ about cooking still remains for well dressed perfectly made up rich women to give out to the masses? Even Nigella Lawson seems to be tiring of the charade that there is anything left to say about chopping an onion or baking an apple.

If the Domestic Goddess now gets over excited about cooking with Coca Cola, Marmite and tinned sardines, where is the sweet spot for Meghan to discover and make cooking enjoyable, sexy and desirable again and not just a bloody chore?

Given that most lifestyle gurus-like Gwyneth Paltrow- and certainly the Duchess of Sussex- are mothers with plenty of money-spinning irons in the fire, from podcasts to product launches to flogging tips and recipes and environmental advice – it’s quite understandable they employ cooks, although they usually call the help housekeepers. Their notion of cooking is not ours.

Meghan supporting Harry at the Santa Barbara Polo & Racquet Club in 2022

When it comes to making a television series, you might wonder how on earth can they relate to the everyday cooking dilemmas of their fans who don’t have staff or a row of copper pans in the kitchen? Problems like how to get any teenager to eat a vegetable, get off their phone in order to eat, or even sit at the table with adults of another generation.

The world doesn’t need another cooking show, every night we are bombarded with the bloody things. Any recipe you want is online.

I wish Meghan well, but she’s entering an over-crowded market too late.

As for Harry’s Big New Idea, he could be onto a winner. Could the Royal Misfit have finally found a role for himself, an area of expertise where he can shine and stop whingeing? I certainly hope so.